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This site has been created so I can share my most intimate thoughts, experiences and my queer take on the world as I see it. I hope you enjoy what you see, and if you do - feel free to share it!

- Tom - Tom



Over the years, I’ve met a number of Mormon and ex-Mormon men. Some have been missionaries who’ve come to my door. Some – the EX ones – have been men I’ve dated. My acquaintance with the faith has led me to several conclusions. Mormon men are often incredibly handsome – clean cut – great complexions – no pores.

A gay person can be Mormon if they abstain from sex. In this, Mormons are at one with the Catholic Church and other fundamentalist fraternities. Celibacy keeps them safe from excommunication. But we all know how that idea misfired in various priesthoods. And how many fundamentalist ministers got caught with rent boy / baggage handlers and naked masseurs who dealt meth?

But an asset like this man’s with his bathing suit slipped down his thighs is counter-productive to remaining celibate.

The best thing about an EX Mormon is that once their shame-based teachings are overcome, they are wild in bed. That, I surmise, is the silver lining in the dense cloud massive repression creates. Think racehorse in a steel cage moments before the gate opens freeing him to pound forward – and backward too. The same counter repressive force applies to dogmatic Catholics and other fundamentalists. Here a gorgeous former Catholic friend sheds his inhibitions.

Whenever I see two fresh-faced young men in spotless white shirts and ties, books in hand at my door, I know they are on mission, spreading the word of Mormon. Invariably polite, I invite them in. I tell them I’m familiar with their religion and many of its teachings because I’ve had Mormon lovers. I also tell them that I appreciate their desire to make the world a more spiritual place. And most importantly, I tell them that I’m aware that their church has evolved over time and given up some beliefs that were – frankly – odious.

In college at the University of New Mexico, I learned that Mormon’s taught that black people bore the stain of Cain and were thusly, inferior to whites. Our mostly black basketball team regularly wiped the butts of the very white Brigham Young team off the court. That made me happy.

Blacks were not permitted to rise in the church until the stain of Cain business was formally wiped away in 1976. So they did address their institutionalized racism. But women, even white ones, remain inferior when it comes to church issues. The sexist, sexphobic, misogynistic homophobia of the Elders remains waiting for further future revelation – and hopefully – revision. Romney has demonstrated that Mormons can change their minds – over and over – and over.

The missionaries know that when they knock on our doors, many of us familiar with what they teach, think their “religion” is a cult founded by a con man who made up the Book of Mormon to satisfy his prodigious sexual appetites – hence – polygamy sanctioned by God. And a lot of men bought into that. When polygamy was banned in the United States in 1882, some Mormons accepted the ban as a trade for Utah statehood. Mitt Romney’s polygamous grandfather, however, annoyed that the government was intruding its nose into his bedroom, fled the country to Mexico where Romney’s father was born. Mitt, in an effort to score points with the pro-immigrant voters, mentions his father’s foreign birth. He never explains why his white bread father is Mexican by birth. And he doesn’t care if half-truths are lies.

Mormons harbor a huge festering sore in their temple. Their homophobia must be acknowledged and addressed in the name of common human decency. The suicide rate among young gay men raised in Mormon families exceeds that of any other demographic group. They have the highest suicide rate in the US. To see the horrific record for yourself – Google, as I did for this article, “gay Mormon teenage – suicide rates”.

I’m glad this Mormon friend avoided the fate of too many of his brethren.

I ask the Mormon missionaries to go forth and make the world a more spiritually enlightened place by giving up the homophobia of their faith. I notice a pattern in their reactions to my request. One will sputter – “But our Elders teach . . . “ The other seems attentive. Is this my prejudice – it always seems the better-looking one is the attentive one :-) Might I shine a ray of light into a closet?

The man underwater was raised as a Mormon. His Elder gave him a choice. Be celibate and stay in the church. Go for the man and be cast out into eternal damnation. He went for the man.

Not only does the Mormon Church excommunicate gays for acting on their nature – the excommunication extends to the next life where they will be separated from their Mormon friends and families forever. Mormon raised friends who left the temple told me they HATED the faith for its destructive nature and force.

By following the dick rather constantly on his mind – he was saved.

Mitt Romney says he does not believe in discriminating against gay people. Liar/ Liar/ Pants on Fire Hypocrite. Don’t be afraid to call him for what he is. He’s gone anti-gay rights at present to pander to the homophobic right. He’s in bed with people, like Frank VanderSloot, his national finance co-chair who spent millions to flood California with ads making the appalling innuendo that the gay agenda was to subvert children in the Prop 8 battle. VanderSloot also uses his fortune to attack anyone telling the truth about the dangers we gay people, including gay Mormon children, face from people like him.

To see what Romney deducts as charitable contributions – view the clip from Rachel Maddow’s segment on Romney’s contributions to a group that advocates gay people beat pillows with tennis racquets to become straight.

Currently, men who hate the idea that gay people deserve equal rights run the Republican Party. They claim their bigotry is “religious freedom” and decry that this perverse euphemism is under attack. So they are now the victims.

Whether it is Santorum the Extreme Catholic or Romney – and who knows what he believes – the media is often in a dither about what to make their faith and what it says about them. Romney, the Mormon Bishop who would be President, doesn’t want his faith and its history of white salamanders and the bizarre baptisms of Ann Frank and Elvis Presley to be discussed. But if the man doesn’t believe what his church tells him to believe – what does this man believe? We know what Santorum believes. He simply wants to convert our democracy and it’s essential values into a Theocracy that reflects his righteousness.

To survive, we gay people must find our own light. We do not bow to the fears imagined by their priests, Elders, and others. They hate us for not obeying them and finding our way through their gauntlet.

Being a competent adult, I’d vote against Santorum. Being a dog lover, I’d vote against Romney for strapping his Irish setter Seamus to the roof of his car for the now infamous 12 hour drive (and diarrhea attack) to Canada where some reports have it, Seamus ran away and sought asylum.

Romney, cannot append a disclaimer to his campaign claiming that no dogs or gay children have been harmed in his run for the presidency. If he runs, I’m getting a bumper sticker: FREE SEAMUS / SAVE GAY MORMON CHILDREN.

– Tom

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4 Responses to “SAVE GAY MORMONS”

  1. David Fuller says:

    I’ve sometimes thought that the liberation of coming out propels gay men to seek the wild, unrestrained sex they desire – Once you’ve admitted to yourself that you’re going to follow your sexual path regardless of social expectations it’s easier to allow yourself to explore you fantasies. I guess the more restrained you are before you come out, for instance by a powerful religious community, then the more momentum you’ll have towards being true to what you really desire and fulfilling that.

  2. LeoJ says:

    Tom the most powerful image I’ve ever seen was in on the couch two with John and the Jesus brief it was incredibly erotic and thought provoking as it crossed so many lines and raised so many questions in the DVD you could tell how you were also amazed by what you saw now if only you could a pair of those briefs for Ben that would be incredible has he seen those photos?

  3. David Jensen says:

    I’m and EX one, former Mormon Bishop. Thanks for your insightful comments. I came out at 50 years after raising 7 children. I’m happier than I’ve ever been. Some of my kids are still “good” Mormons. My new life has been hard for them but the other kids who are EX ones are thrilled with my life and lover….

  4. Tom Bianchi says:

    I find that one of the most transparent lies Romney has told is that he was unaware of the sexual orientation of the student he and his gang of bullies attacked with scissors back in the 60s. He said, “we really didn’t think about things like that back then.” Really? One of the most awful things about Romney is that his cult believes itself above truth telling. How much of his tithing found its way into the Mormon hate campaign in California in support of Prop 8? Now he is claiming his donations to the Temple are in effect tax payments. Really.

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